Parent Awareness – Valuable Article when Searching for Schools and Programs

THIS IS MY CHILD

This is my child, where did I go wrong? Most likely you didn’t, sometimes life gives us stumbling blocks that are put there for a reason. None of us is perfect, parenting is not easy, children don’t come with manuals, and we can’t be blamed for all the bad in this world.

Parenting is probably one of the most difficult jobs to do. That, combined with working a full-time job and juggling household chores, as well as many other activities in life, can lead to turmoil in many lives. As a parent, we need to consciously make time to get to know our kids, and our kid’s friends. This can be very difficult with our schedules; however, a necessary step to be able to get to know your child and build trust.

This is my child. Good or bad, they don’t deserve abuse. If your child needs help from outside sources (Therapeutic Boarding School, Residential Treatment, etc), you need to feel confident there are safe and qualified schools and programs. Although sometimes hard to locate immediately, after time and research, you will finally find the best school or programs for your child’s individual needs. After all, this is my child. They are our future. Take the time to research, research, and research. Good kids making bad choices – that is the way of most of today’s teens.
 

·         School Opens

As a new school year opens, our phones become very busy. Many of the parents who call are at their wits end with their child’s lack of motivation toward school and desire to be less than the child’s potential is. The phrase ‘my child is a good kid, this is not like him/her’ is very common. Many children embarking on a new school year try to figure out where they fit in.  Peer Pressure can be extremely difficult for adolescents.

Today, the most frequent statement is how intelligent a child is, yet he/she not working up to their potential – an underachiever.  They are capable of the work, but lack the motivation to complete it.  How many kids achieve great test scores, however fail a class since they don’t finish their homework?  Unfortunately this is very common.

Making mistakes and falling is all part of growing up and maturing. Although our instincts are to love and protect, we must, at times, let them learn from their mistakes. Loving them is unconditional, and protecting them is natural. Watching them fail can be painful; however, watching them learn from it is fulfilling.

Although there are no standard answers in today’s society of teens and pre-teens, one issue is clear, they need our support and our guidance to help them through the rough spots. It seems very difficult to determine when to let them fly and when to intervene. Each family and child, with their own unique dynamics, knows what works best for them.  The influences of today’s peer pressure can be overwhelming.

Locating a smaller private school or residential program may lead to success depending on the child. Unfortunately, costs may be prohibitive for some families. Some of the schools offer scholarships or financial aid. If they don’t, you may want to ask them for a resource that may be able to assist you.  There are lending institutions for Educational Loans.

Military Schools are an excellent choice for children that flourish with structure and positive discipline. Many parents are under the misconception that Military Schools are for troubled children; that is false. Military Schools are a privilege and an honor for children to attend. Most Military Schools start at $20,000.00 per year. Some have scholarship programs.

Military Schools can build your child’s self-esteem and confidence to start making productive choices and help the child in reaching his or her potential academically. The social environment can be a positive atmosphere for both boys and girls. Again, with Military Schools, it is not for children that are out of control, at risk or using substances.  Many ADD/ADHD students flourish in the structured environment.

Traditional Boarding Schools  are a great opportunity for children to enhance their ability to achieve academically. Like Military Schools, they are not for troubled children or out of control teens. They are prestigious and usually offer more academic attention for the child. There are many that offer classes for the children that have Learning Differences including ADD and ADHD. Most Boarding Schools start at $25,000.00 per school year. In some instances, finding a Boarding School for your child that offers their special interest (e.g. Arts, Music, an Equestrian program, Sports etc.) could also encourage progress in their future.

Parent Beware-ness

Since the establishment of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts  (P.U.R.E.) years ago (since 2001), there have been companies attempting to duplicate P.U.R.E.  We have yet to see any organization offer the emotional and parent support that we offer to families. P.U.R.E. is parents helping parents. We encourage all parents, friends, and relatives to research, research, and research. Our homepage offers a link to a list of Helpful Hints  as well as Questions to ask Schools and Programs that can be beneficial in making the best choice for your child.

Until our United States government enacts federal laws to provide oversight standards for private schools and private residential programs, you must rely on your instincts and investigations. P.U.R.E. encourages our Congress and United States Senate to enact consumer protection laws for families and children that will help reveal widespread deception that is regularly used by some programs.

We don’t want parents to become fearful from finding help for their children, but parents must do their homework. It is the most important component of finding the best school or program for your child. Building your child back up, enhancing their self-esteem, and working with professionals can help your child to mature into a productive adult.  It is about giving your child a second chance to be all they can be.

Programs/Schools that use food and/or sleep deprivation, expect the children to live in unsanitary conditions, deprive them of an education, or isolate them from others for extended periods of time are Red Flags. Continue searching until you feel 100% comfortable with your decision. Although your child is acting out negatively, putting them into a negative and poor environment is more likely to build more anger and resentment. They don’t need the Hilton; however they do deserve basic human needs. Eating right and healthy combined with good sleep habits is more likely to enhance your child’s desire to change for the positive.

Parent Information

Many parents think if they pay an Educational Consultant or someone that has an association with a group that is self-made (not regulated by any governmental agencies, i.e. IECA - Independent Educational Consultants Association) they are going to the experts. The old cliché kicks in, “since they cost so much, they must be good.” Although there are some reputable Educational Consultants, you must continue to do your research to find one if you choose to hire one.

Too many times we have heard from the parents that have been misled by this type of organization. Trusting someone to place your child is a major responsibility. Are they liable if something happens to your child in the programs “they” believe is best for him/her? Why do many refer to the same group of schools and programs, usually after recommending a Wilderness program? With the many parents that call us, those that have used Educational Consultants have given us the same program referrals and most, if not all, have been recommended to Wilderness first. Is there something more to this that we cannot see? We are not insinuating they are bad programs; however, the continuity can be a red flag.

Although we are not advocates of Wilderness programs, the pattern of the Educational Consultants using them first prior a Therapeutic or Residential program, could be viewed as a double dip. Wilderness programs may be good for some children; however, to assume they all need that step seems a bit suspicious. In many cases, Wilderness programs are never long enough to offer lasting results – and they are extremely expensive. Unfortunately, some parents are misguided that a 60-90 day program may be a fix-it-all. Why not start where you want to finish? We have seen much success in a solid and qualified 6-9-12 month programs.  Where a child can start and finish with a sense of accomplishment. 

Another RED FLAG is while surfing the Internet, you are overwhelmed with different toll-free numbers, different web designs, even different marketing names; however, they all lead to the same group of schools and programs. Have you used the Key Word “Military School” and your results are anything but Military Schools? The unfortunate misconception may add more stress and confusion to an already desperate situation. We cannot control the spamming of the Internet, which means you need to be extremely careful as to who or what you are calling.

At P.U.R.E.  we offer parents resources offer parents resources and our personal experiences with many programs and schools. We do not place children into schools and programs; we give families resources and options that may be appropriate for their child. We also encourage parent and child feedback from all schools and programs. We like to share it with others who could be looking at the same program. We do not claim to be members of any big organizations, nor do we claim to be Educational Consultants. We are professionals and parents doing our best to help others find safe and qualified settings for their precious cargo. As a Member of the Better Business Bureau we take pride in our organization and will continue to assist families in need. Keeping your family safe is our priority. P.U.R.E. is “bringing families back together…”

Who to trust? The answer is easy; trust your gut, your heart and yourself as a parent that knows what is best for their child. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Don’t assume your emotions are getting the best of you; your emotions can be your red flags flying.

Bullying continues to be a concern with parents and what their children can endure from other kids and now that school is here, it can start again.  It is important to help your child understand that Bullying is not accepted and can potentially end up harming others not only emotionally - sometimes psychically.  Here are some great tips for parents by Connect with Kids.

Three out of four children say they’re bullied.  One in ten say it happens everyday.

Fourteen-year-old Alex Freed, who is tall and skinny with red hair and glasses, says it happened to him, “all day, from morning till the end; from 8 o’clock until 3 o’clock.”

Alex’s bullying was not physical.  Instead of being beaten up or threatened, some of his classmates teased, laughed at and excluded him.

“I sometimes had to lie to mom and tell her I was sick so I wouldn’t have to go to school,” Alex says.

In fact, studies have found that two-thirds of students said they were bullied not with fists but by words. 

Dr. Tim Jordan, a pediatrician who conducts a bullying workshop with students, says, “We have a whole building full of kids who feel unsafe – emotionally unsafe.” 

Children report that oftentimes, bullies will use anything – clothes, hair, body size and even feelings about school – as a springboard for ridiculing others.

Thea McLain, a student in Dr. Jordan’s workshop, says, “If you’re in drama instead of football, you’re gay; if you like literature over gym class, you’re gay; if you’re academic instead of athletic, you’re gay.”

A bully’s words can be cruel and hurtful, yet so many children, like Sarah Nadler, never tell anyone – not even their parents.

“I didn’t really want to break down in front of them, ’cause I didn’t want them to know I was hurting,” Sarah says.

Experts say that the best advice isn’t easy:  Raise a child who is emotionally strong and self-confident, because bullies target children who appear vulnerable.

“So if you walk into the school building with a belief system that says, ‘I don’t deserve to be taken care of, I’m probably not going to make friends, people aren’t going to like me,’ then guess what?  You’re probably going to attract that kind of thing,” Dr. Jordan says.

Another piece of advice comes from Sarah’s father, Jed.

“I would say just to make sure your child knows that you’re there to listen … and you’ll just hear what they have to say and hug them and love them, and see if that’s cure enough,” he says.

Tips for Parents

Results of a survey reveal that children in the fifth through 12th grades worry more about emotional violence vs. physical violence.  The survey of 1,000 children, conducted by the Families and Work Institute, found that two-thirds of the students said that peers had teased or gossiped about them in a mean way in the past month.  Consider these additional findings:

• Twelve percent of the kids surveyed had been bullied five times or more in the past month.
• Approximately 23% admitted they had bullied someone else.
• Eight percent said they had been attacked with a weapon.
• Another 8% said they had been forced to perform sexual acts.

In fact, the National School Safety Center cites a poll of 477 teens and 456 parents that provides further evidence to support that intimidation and physical abuse are typical parts of a school day for U.S. students: 

• Of the 14-17 year-olds surveyed, more than two-thirds report that their school houses a group of students who sometimes or frequently intimidate others, often with no or few consequences.

• While many victims respond by isolating themselves, almost a third of respondents said victims usually plan ways to get back at the intimidators.

• Only a third of students believe the school penalizes students who engage in intimidation.
• Less than a third of victims report the behavior to someone at school.
• Only 16% of teens said that other students intercede when a fellow student is being intimidated or embarrassed. 

The U.S. Department of Education (DOE) says that bullying – the act of threatening to hurt or frighten someone – may be physical, verbal, emotional or sexual in nature:

• Physical bullying includes punching, poking, strangling, hair pulling, beating, biting and excessive tickling.
• Verbal bullying includes such acts as hurtful name-calling, teasing and gossiping.
• Emotional bullying includes rejecting, terrorizing, extorting, defaming, humiliating, blackmailing, rating/ranking of personal characteristics – such as race, disability, ethnicity or perceived sexual orientation – manipulating friendships, isolating, ostracizing and peer pressure.
• Sexual bullying includes many of the actions listed above as well as exhibitionism, voyeurism, sexual propositioning, sexual harassment and abuse involving actual physical contact and sexual assault.

All of these types of bullying can interfere with students’ learning.  The U.S. DOE cites these negative consequences that bullying victims often experience:

• Grades may suffer because attention is drawn away from learning.
• Fear may lead to absenteeism, truancy or dropping out.
• Victims may lose or fail to develop self-esteem, experience feelings of isolation and may become withdrawn and depressed.
• As students and later as adults, victims may be hesitant to take social, intellectual, emotional or vocational risks.
• If the problem persists, victims occasionally feel compelled to take drastic measures, such as vengeance in the form of fighting back, weapon-carrying or even suicide.
• Victims are more likely than non-victims to grow up being socially anxious and insecure, displaying more symptoms of depression than those who were not victimized as children.

In addition, bystanders and peers of victims can be negatively affected by acts of bullying:

• They may become afraid to associate with the victim for fear of lowering their own status or of retribution from the bully and becoming victims themselves.
• They may fear reporting bullying incidents because they do not want to be called a “snitch,” a “tattler” or an “informer.”
• Some experience feelings of guilt or helplessness for not standing up to the bully on behalf of their classmate.
• Many may be drawn into bullying behavior by group pressure.
• They may feel unsafe, unable to take action or a loss of control.

Even the bullies themselves can experience long-term outcomes from harassing others.  The National Resource Center for Safe Schools (NRCSS) reports that bullies identified by age 8 are six times more likely than non-bullies to be convicted of a crime by the time they reach age 24 and five times more likely to end up with serious criminal records by age 30.

Who is likely to be a victim of bullying?  The NCRSS says that passive loners are the most frequent victims, especially if they cry easily or lack social self-defense skills.  Many victims are unable to deflect a conflict with humor and don’t think quickly on their feet.  They are usually anxious, insecure and cautious and suffer from low self-esteem.  In addition, they rarely defend themselves or retaliate and tend to lack friends, making them easy to isolate.

If you suspect that your child is being bullied, you can help him or her in the following ways cited by the Committee for Children:

• Encourage your child to report bullying incidents to you.  Validate your child’s feelings by letting him or her know that it is normal to feel hurt, sad, scared, angry, etc.  Help your child be specific in describing bullying incidents – who, what, where and when. 

• Ask your child how he or she has tried to stop the bullying.  Coach him or her in possible coping methods – avoidance of the bully and making new friends for support.

• Treat the school as your ally.  Share your child’s concerns and specific information around bullying incidents with appropriate school personnel.  Work with school staff to protect your child from possible retaliation.  Establish a plan with the school and your child for dealing with future bullying incidents.  Volunteer time to help supervise on field trips, on the playground or in the lunchroom.  And become an advocate for school-wide bullying prevention programs and policies.
• Encourage your child to continue to talk with you about all bullying incidents.  Never ignore your child’s report.  Remember that you should not advise your child to physically fight back.  Bullying lasts longer and becomes more severe when children fight back, and physical injuries often result.  Also, you should not confront the bullying child or his or her parents.

Unlike victims, bullies appear to suffer little anxiety and possess strong self-esteem, according to the NCRSS.  They often come from homes where physical punishment is used and where children are taught to strike back physically as a way of handling problems.  Bullies thus believe that it is all right for stronger children to hit weaker children.   They frequently lack parental warmth and involvement and seem to desire power and control.

If you suspect that your child is bullying others, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) suggests you seek help for him or her as soon as possible.  Without intervention, bullying can lead to serious academic, social, emotional and legal difficulties.  Talk to your child’s pediatrician, teacher, principal, school counselor or family physician.  If the bullying continues, the AACAP advises you to arrange a comprehensive evaluation of your child by a child and adolescent psychiatrist or other mental health professional should be arranged.

The Coalition for Children says that you can also help your child by discussing with him or her these key points about bullying:

• Remind your child that bullying is not acceptable in your family or in society.
• Provide your child with alternatives to taking frustration or aggression out on others.  You can even role-play different ways to behave in situations where your child would normally bully another. 
• Specify concretely the consequences if the aggression or bullying continue.

While bullying, harassment and teasing are unfortunate aspects of childhood, you can help minimize these occurrences by raising non-violent children.  The American Academy of Pediatrics cites the following tips for curbing hurtful behavior in your child: 

• Give your child consistent love and attention.  Every child needs a strong, loving, relationship with a parent or other adult to feel safe and secure and to develop a sense of trust.  Without a steady bond to a caring adult, a child is at risk for becoming hostile, difficult and hard to manage.
• Make sure your child is supervised.  A child depends on his or her parents and family members for encouragement, protection and support as he or she learns to think for himself or herself.  Without proper supervision, your child will not receive the guidance he or she needs.  Studies report that unsupervised children often have behavior problems.
• Show your child appropriate behaviors by the way you act.  Children often learn by example.  The behavior, values and attitudes of parents and siblings have a strong influence on them.  Most children sometimes act aggressively and may hit another person.  Be firm with your child about the possible dangers of violent behavior.  Also remember to praise your child when he or she solves problems constructively without violence.
• Don’t hit your child.  Hitting or slapping your child as punishment shows him or her that it’s OK to hit others to solve problems and can train him or her to punish others in the same way he or she were punished.
• Be consistent about rules and discipline.  When you make a rule, stick to it.  Your child needs structure with clear expectations for his or her behavior.  Setting rules and then not enforcing them is confusing and sets up your child to “see what he or she can get away with.”
• Make sure your child does not have access to guns.  Guns and children can be a deadly combination.  Teach your child about the dangers of firearms or other weapons if you own and use them. If you keep a gun in your home, unload it and lock it up separately from the bullets.  Don’t carry a gun or a weapon.  If you do, this tells your child that using guns solves problems.
• Try to keep your child from seeing violence in the home or community.  Violence in the home can be frightening and harmful to children.  A child who has seen violence at home does not always become violent, but he or she may be more likely to try to resolve conflicts with violence.
• Try to keep your child from seeing too much violence in the media.  Watching a lot of violence on television, in the movies and in video games can lead children to behave aggressively.  As a parent, you can control the amount of violence your child sees in the media by limiting television viewing and previewing games, movies, etc., before allowing access to them by your child.
• Help your child stand up against violence.  Support your child in standing up against violence.  Teach him or her to respond with calm but firm words when others insult, threaten or hit another person.  Help your child understand that it takes more courage and leadership to resist violence than to go along with it.

References

• American Academy of Pediatrics
• American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
• Coalition for Children
• Committee for Children
• Families and Work Institute
• National Resource Center for Safe Schools
• National School Safety Center
• U.S. Department of Education
• University of Zurich

Peer Pressure leads to “Good Teens Making Bad Choices” which is very common today.

Teen Peer Pressure can be extremely damaging to a pre-teen or teen that is desperately trying to fit in somewhere – anywhere in their school.  They are not sure what group they belong in, and those that are suffering with low self esteem can end up fitting more comfortably with the less than desirable peers.  This can be the beginning of a downward spiral.  When a child doesn’t have confidence of who they are or where they belong, it can lead to the place that is easiest to fit in – usually the not the best crowd. 

Keeping your child involved in activities such as sports, music and school clubs can help give them a place where they belong.  We always encourage parents to find the one thing that truly interests their child, whether it is a musical instrument, swimming, golf, diving, dance, chess club, drama, etc. It is important to find out what their interests are and help them build on it. Encourage them 100%.  They don’t need to be the next Tiger Woods, but they need to enjoy what they are doing and keep busy doing it.  Staying busy in a constructive way is always beneficial.

It is very common with many parents that contact us that their child has fallen into the wrong crowd and has become a follower rather than a leader.  They are making bad choices, choices they know better however the fear of not fitting in with their friends sways them to make the wrong decisions.  Low self esteem can attribute to this behavior, and if it has escalated to a point of dangerous situations such as legal issues, substance use, gang related activity, etc. it may be time to seek outside help.  Remember, don’t be ashamed of this, it is very common today and you are not alone.  So many parents believe others will think it is a reflection of their parenting skills, however with today’s society; the teen peer pressure is stronger than it ever has been.  The Internet explosion combined with many teens Entitlement Issues has made today’s generation a difficult one to understand. 

It is so important to find the right fit for your child if you are seeking residential treatment. We always encourage *local adolescent counseling prior to any Residential Treatment Programs or Boarding schools, however this is not always necessary. Many parents have an instinct when their child is heading the wrong direction. It is an intuition only a parent can detect. If something doesn’t seem right, it usually isn’t. If your gut is talking to you, you may want to listen or investigate what your child is doing.  Parents need to understand that teen peer pressure can influence adolescents in negative ways. Do you know who your child’s friends are?

Visit www.helpyourteens.com for more information.

“My 18 year old is out of control and I am at my wits end!  What can I do?” – Anonymous Parent.

18 – 19 year old teens can be the most difficult to address simply because they are considered adults and cannot be forced to get help.  As parents, we have limited to no control.  Practicing “Tough Love” is easier said than done, many parents cannot let their child reach rock bottom – as parent’s, we see our child suffering – whether it is needing groceries or a roof over their head and it is hard to shut the door on them.

I think this is one of the most important reasons that if you are a parent of a 16-17 year old that is out of control, struggling, defiant, using drugs and alcohol, or other negative behavior – I believe it is time to look for intervention NOW.  I am not saying it needs to be a residential treatment center or a program out of the home, but at least start with local resources such as therapists that specialize with adolescents and preferable offer support groups.

It is unfortunate that in most cases the local therapy is very limited how it can help your teen.  The one hour once a week or even twice, is usually not enough to make permanent changes.  Furthermore getting your defiant teen to attend sessions can sometimes cause more friction and frustrations than is already happening.

This is the time to consider outside help such as a Therapeutic Boarding School or Residential Treatment Center.  However these parents with the 18-19 year olds have usually missed their opportunity.  They were hoping and praying that at 16 – 17 things would change, but unfortunately, if not addressed, the negative behavior usually escalates.

In the past 8+ years I have heard from thousands of parents – and most are hoping to get their child through High School and will be satisfied with a GED. It is truly a sad society of today’s teens when many believe they can simply drop out of school.  Starting as early as 14 years old, many teens are thinking this way and we need to be sure they know the consequences of not getting an education.  Education in today’s world should be our children’s priority however with today’s peer pressure and entitlement issues, it seems to have drifted from education to defiance – being happy just having fun and not being responsible.

I think there are many parents that debate whether they should take that desperate measure of sending a child to a program and having them escorted there – but in the long run – you need to look at these parents that have 18-19 year olds that don’t have that opportunity.  While you have this option, and it is a major decision that needs to be handled with the utmost reality of what will happen if things don’t change.  The closer they are to 18 – the more serious issues can become legally.  If a 17+ year old gets in trouble with the law, in many states they will be tried as an adult.  This can be scary since most of these kids are good kids making very bad choices and don’t deserve to get caught up the system.  As a parent I believe it is our responsible not to be selfish and be open to sending the outside of the home.  It is important not to view this as a failure as a parent, but as a responsible parent that is willing to sacrifice your personal feelings to get your child the help they need.

At 18, it is unfortunate, these kids are considered adults - and as parents we basically lose control to get them the help they need.  In some cases - if the teen knows they have no other alternatives and this is the only option the parents will support, they will agree to get outside help.

Visit www.helpyourteens.com for more information.

Are you a parent of a teenager or pre-teen that is starting to make some poor choices?  They are great kids, but suddenly the decisions they are making are worrying you.  Is there a new circle of friends that you are not familiar with?

Are you at your wit’s end?

As the founder of Parent’s Universal Resource Experts we speak with parents on a daily basis that are struggling with today’s youths. 

Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent?  You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together. 

• Is your teen escalating out of control?
• Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful?
• Is your teen manipulative? Running your household?
• Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior?
• Is your teen angry, violent or rage outbursts?
• Is your teen stealing?
• Is your teen verbally abusive?
• Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn?
• Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals?
• Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol?
• Does your teen belong to a gang?
• Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time?
• Has their appearance changed – piercing, tattoo’s, inappropriate clothing?
• Has your teen stopped participating in sports, clubs, church and family functions?  Have they become withdrawn from society?
• Is your teen very intelligent yet not working up to their potential? Underachiever?  Capable of doing the work yet not interested in education.
• Is your teen sexually active?
• Teen pregnancy?  
• Is your teen a good kid but making bad choices?
• Undesirable peers? Is your teen a follower or a leader?
• Low self esteem and low self worth?
• Lack of motivation?  Low energy?
• Mood Swings?  Anxiety?
• Teen depressionthat leads to negative behavior?
• Eating Disorders?  Weight loss? Weight gain?
• Self-Harm or Self Mutilation?
• High School drop-out?
• Suspended or Expelled from school?
• Suicidal thoughts or attempts?
• ADD/ADHD/LD/ODD?
• Is your teen involved in legal problems? Have they been arrested?

Does your teen refuse to take accountability and always blame others for their mistakes?

• Do you feel hopeless, helpless and powerless over what options you have as a parent?  Are you at your wit’s end?

 Does any of the above sound familiar?  Many parents are at their wit’s end by the time they contact us, but the most important thing many need to know is you are not alone. 

There is help but the parent needs to be proactive and educate themselves in getting the right help. Many try local therapy, which is always recommended, but in most cases, this is a very temporary band-aid to a more serious problem.  One or two hours a week with a therapist is usually not enough to make the major changes that need to be done.    

If you feel you are at your wit’s end and are considering outside resources, it may be time to consider Residential Therapy.  An informed parent is an educated parent and will better prepare to you to make the best decision for your child. In my opinion, it is critical not to place your child out of his/her element. 

In many cases placing a teen that is just starting to make bad choices into a hard core environment may cause more problems.  Be prepared – do your homework. 

Many parents are in denial and keep hoping and praying the situation is going to change.  Unfortunately in many cases, the problems usually escalate without immediate attention.  Don’t be parents in denial; be proactive in getting your teen the appropriate help they may need.  Whether it is local therapy or outside the home assistance, be in command of the situation before it spirals out of control and you are at a place of desperation. 

At wit’s end is not a pleasant place to be, but so many of us have been there. Finding the best school or  residential program for your child is one of the most important steps a parent does.  Remember, your child is not for sale – don’t get drawn into high pressure sales people, learn from my mistakes - gain from my knowledge.  Read my story at www.aparentstruestory.com for the mistakes I made that nearly destroyed my daughter.   

In searching for schools and programs we look for the following:

·         Helping Teens - not Harming them

·         Building them up - not Breaking them down

·         Positive and Nurturing Environments - not Punitive

·         Family Involvement in Programs - not Isolation from the teen

·         Protect Children - not Punish them

Some Informational Websites on Teen Subjects:

Teen Depression, Teen Runaways, Teen Pregnancy, Teen Internet Addiction, Teen and Youth Gangs

By Sue Scheff

Founder of Parent’s Universal Resource Experts

Author of Wit’s End!

      As seen on 20/20, Lifetime Television, The Rachael Ray Show, ABC News, CBS News, Fox News, CNN News and more!